Fifteen gigs, one band of animals in sunglasses, and your name on the tour poster

A printed planner laid out like a world tour: a moose on bass in a barn for November, a sloth on drums who treats tempo as a suggestion, the parrot's solo that changed music forever in June. Every month is a poster, every poster is a real design, and the front cover has your name where the headliner goes. Free, and the roadies are already loading it.