The Wild Word
Creature comforts, animal antics, and everything zoo-adjacent.
The Watering Hole
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Join the Jungle Jam Session ~ Inside the Animal Band World Tour
Nobody announced this tour. One morning the binturong loaded her drum kit into the van, the parrot tuned something with far too many strings, and an itinerary landed on my desk with a note that said start printing. So I started printing. The Animal Band World Tour is the collection that came out of that van: animal musicians treated as exactly what they are, which is working musicians with dates to play and opinions about the monitor mix. -
Somebody Has to Hold Down the Low End
I handle the high notes around here. Always have. (A parrot's solo will change music forever, and I intend to be the one holding the guitar when it happens.) But a jam session is not a solo act, and every band sooner or later asks the big question: who is keeping the groove steady underneath all my brilliance? -
Peek-a-Zoo ~ The Pop-Out Crew: The Animals Who Found the Edge of the Print
Somewhere along the line, an animal looked at the bottom edge of a printed tee and recognized it for what it truly is: a windowsill. A balcony. Front-row seating with excellent sightlines. Peek-a-Zoo ~ The Pop-Out Crew is the collection where those animals report for duty, paws hooked over the hem, eyes already locked on whatever you were about to do without them. -
Court Is Now in Session: The Side-Eye Has Joined The Whole Menagerie
Cue the rhythm section and clear the perch... a whole delegation of professionally unimpressed creatures just swept into The Whole Menagerie , and I have never felt so thoroughly evaluated in my life. I watched them file in from my branch (unhurried, unbothered, already forming opinions about my feather situation), and let me say it plainly: the jungle has convened a review board, and every one of us is on the agenda. -
The Parrots Have Claimed the Best Branch in the Jungle
Every jungle has one branch with the best view, the best breeze and the best snacks within reach, and the parrots got there first. The Parrot Perch is the AmazooMania collection where they hold court. Up here the macaws run the afternoon like a well-organized beach club, and nobody gets a seat without the right feathers. -
Every Member of the Crew Brought Their Own Shades
There is a dress code on this side of the jungle, and it is simple: eyewear on, schedule open. The Shades Crew is the AmazooMania collection for the animals who treat the glare as a personal style opportunity. Nobody here is squinting. Nobody here is in a hurry either. -
Sound check at the bandstand: a bison has a bagpipe, and nobody gave it to him
Sound check ran long at the AmazooMania bandstand this week. The log, as filed by the zookeeper who was told to manage the band and not to have opinions about it: -
The zookeeper offered a shortcut. You took the long way round.
Some people arrive at AmazooMania knowing exactly which animal they are. Sloth. Done. Out by lunch. And then there is you: the one who reads the whole menu, the one who does every enclosure including the one with the sign that says 'back in five minutes,' the one who says 'let me just see everything first' and means the word everything. -
Tell us who they are. The park will pick the animal.
There is a desk at the AmazooMania gate with a hand-lettered sign that says GIFT MATCHING, and a zookeeper behind it who has never once gotten it wrong. You describe the person. The park picks the animal. It goes like this: -
A tiger showed up in a pink windbreaker. The art department has been asked to explain.
Somebody left the AmazooMania art department unsupervised over a weekend, and Limited Edition Designs is what was on the wall Monday morning. -
The Sloth Spa opened a waiting list. The waiting list is also napping.
There is a side of the AmazooMania park where nothing has been scheduled since spring, and it is thriving. Sloth Spa Day opened a waiting list in April. The waiting list fell asleep. Nobody has followed up, because following up would require standing. -
The animals who would not pick a wing
Every animal at AmazooMania gets sorted at the gate: the half-pipe crowd goes to the extreme wing, the hammock crowd goes to the shade side, anyone holding an instrument goes to the bandstand. The Whole Menagerie is what happens when an animal looks at the clipboard and says, respectfully, no. -
Incident report from the extreme wing: the hippo has launched
The AmazooMania safety briefing was scheduled for nine. Nobody came. What follows is the incident log from the extreme wing, filed by a zookeeper who has given up on the briefing and now just writes things down. -
Intake log: who arrived at the gate this week
Every animal that joins AmazooMania checks in at the gate, and the zookeeper on intake writes down exactly what walked up. This week's clipboard, unedited: -
The Residents After Dark: The Shift Nobody Told You About
Squawk. Pete here, reporting live from my perch with a confession... the good stuff around here does not happen during visiting hours. It happens after. The gates click shut, the last stroller rolls out, and somewhere in the dark a moth straightens its bones, a possum checks the schedule, and the whole place changes management. That is what The Residents After Dark is about: the shift that starts the moment you go home. -
Wild Ones on Wheels and Waves: Animals Who Ride
Somewhere out there, right now, a creature is running late for something important. Not late in a panicked way (these animals do not panic), late in the way of a professional who knows the route, has the wind figured out, and will arrive exactly when the arriving is good. That is the whole spirit of Wild Ones on Wheels & Waves , and I have been waiting to write about this shelf since the first design crossed my desk. -
Natural Tendencies ~ Apparently That's Me: The Collection For Everyone With Exactly One Setting
Every animal I have ever written about has one setting it refuses to change. The sloth does not hurry. The honey badger does not consult. The capybara has never once read the group chat and never once felt bad about it. This shelf finally gives that whole crowd a job title, and it is called Natural Tendencies ~ Apparently That's Me . -
Skydiving Raccoons and Surfing Monkeys: The Animals Clocked In for Adventure
Somewhere out past the tree line, a raccoon checked his altimeter, gave the thumbs up, and stepped out of a perfectly good airplane. Nobody gasped. This is how Tuesdays go. The animals have hobbies, they take them seriously, and I finally gave them all one shelf to live on ~ the Wildly Funny Animal T-Shirts collection. -
Party Animals at Play: Where the Jungle Clocks Out and the Fun Clocks In
Somewhere out there, right now, a kangaroo is checking the surf report. Not for anyone's amusement (the kangaroo does not know you exist) but because the waves are good and the board is waxed. That is the whole spirit of Party Animals at Play , the shelf where I keep the creatures who treat leisure like a calling ~ and honestly, I have never stocked a shelf with more conviction. -
The Residents Admitted to Personalities, Then Found the Costume Bin
Two things happened at AmazooMania in the same stretch of days, and the residents would like it on record that neither one was their idea. First, every animal on the grounds admitted to a personality. Then, before anybody could process that, they found the costume bin. -
The Gecko Turned Up To Its Own Party
Most animals on this store are busy playing a sport. One of them simply came to celebrate, and honestly, that deserves more credit than it gets. -
Your Zoo Obsession? The Animals Noticed Too
There are two kinds of people in this world. People who walk through the zoo and think "oh, nice giraffe." And people who stop at the giraffe enclosure, lock eyes with a fully grown ruminant, and feel ~ deeply, and without a single apology ~ completely understood. -
Animal Obsessed? You Found Your People
You know that specific feeling ~ the one where you spot an animal doing something with complete, unjustified confidence, and you think: that is me, actually. A flamingo rolling into a skate park like she owns it. A tiger cutting through a wave with zero regard for anything. -
7 Animal Facts So Weird They Can't Be Real
You already knew animals were running things behind the scenes. What you maybe did not know is that the science backs you up completely. -
A Chipmunk Walks Up To The Plate
Bottom of the ninth. Bases loaded. The crowd is on its feet. And out of the dugout walks a chipmunk. -
7 Weird Animal Facts That Prove Nature Is Absurd
You think you know animals. You've been to the zoo. You've watched the documentaries. You've nodded along like you had it figured out. -
Every Animal Kingdom Sport Ranked By Pure Chaos
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the zany aisle. Today we are settling something. Which animal sport on this store would be the most catastrophic to actually attend? -
The Raccoon Was Always Going To Play Hockey
Consider the raccoon for a moment. Nocturnal. Masked. Operates in small organised gangs. Will fight anything over something worthless. -
Pickleball Has Fully Taken Over And The Animals Noticed
Something remarkable has happened on courts everywhere and nobody voted on it. Pickleball arrived, took the tennis courts, and refused to leave. -
Yoga With A Giraffe Is A Terrible Idea
Welcome to the mat. Roll it out. Breathe in. Now try to picture a giraffe attempting downward dog and tell me you are still calm.
Latest Articles
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Join the Jungle Jam Session ~ Inside the Animal Band World Tour
Nobody announced this tour. One morning the binturong loaded her drum kit into the van, the parrot tuned something with far too many strings, and an itinerary landed on my desk with a note that said start printing. So I started printing. The Animal Band World Tour is the collection that came out of that van: animal musicians treated as exactly what they are, which is working musicians with dates to play and opinions about the monitor mix. -
Somebody Has to Hold Down the Low End
I handle the high notes around here. Always have. (A parrot's solo will change music forever, and I intend to be the one holding the guitar when it happens.) But a jam session is not a solo act, and every band sooner or later asks the big question: who is keeping the groove steady underneath all my brilliance? -
Peek-a-Zoo ~ The Pop-Out Crew: The Animals Who Found the Edge of the Print
Somewhere along the line, an animal looked at the bottom edge of a printed tee and recognized it for what it truly is: a windowsill. A balcony. Front-row seating with excellent sightlines. Peek-a-Zoo ~ The Pop-Out Crew is the collection where those animals report for duty, paws hooked over the hem, eyes already locked on whatever you were about to do without them.
