Two things happened at AmazooMania in the same stretch of days, and the residents would like it on record that neither one was their idea. First, every animal on the grounds admitted to a personality. Then, before anybody could process that, they found the costume bin.
Natural Tendencies ~ Apparently That's Me
It is a personality collection disguised as an animal collection, and nobody here was picked for being cute. The frog is Currently Buffering on a Lily Pad (he has been for some time, and the little wheel is still turning). The Chief Lookout Officer has never once looked at anything but the horizon. Someone filed Slowly, With Pure Determination and The Master of Minimum Effort on the same afternoon, which took most of a week, and regrets nothing.
Peacefully Unimpressed was signed without anyone opening their eyes. Questionable Intentions and The Mildly Suspicious Alibi went in back to back, followed by a question about whether there was a rule against that. There is not. Zero Explanations Given is the rule now. Read The Room passed without objection... mostly because objecting would have proved the point.
Here is what happens when these go up on the shop. People do not point at the animals. They point at themselves. Executive Nap Mode is you on a Sunday. The Art of Being Unreachable is you after six. Unmovable Object Energy is the relative everyone plans around, and Unavailable For Small Talk is the one they plan around at the holidays. You are not shopping for an animal here. You are shopping for the one that is you, and it comes printed on an Everyday Supersoft T-shirt so the admission is at least comfortable.
The Residents After Dark
The residents heard it was Halloween and took it personally. Count Cluckula has a cape now, the fangs, and an attitude that arrived before the cape did. The meerkats put themselves in charge of Costume Patrol, which nobody asked for and which is going about as well as you would expect. The raccoons were told to Take Only One and have not agreed to that in writing or otherwise.
The wolves showed up as a wolf pack, which is either the laziest costume on the grounds or the most committed (Pack Mentality does not explain itself). A snake decided it was also a lantern, so Snake O Lantern is a thing you can wear now. The moths split the difference: one went as a pumpkin, one went as a skeleton, and Pumpkin Moth and Skeleton Moth are still not speaking about who had the idea first. The bear wants no part of any of it. He is The Big Nope, and he is on a shirt too, for the person at the party who is already looking for their coat.
Some of the residents dressed as themselves and called it a costume. I Came as Myself is exactly what it sounds like. Too Glam To Give A Damn did not need a holiday to justify anything. King Of Not Caring showed up late and left early. Delicate Flower is not one, and knows it. And Steve is Steve. Steve is always Steve.
Which one is you
The honest answer is usually two. One from the personality shelf, because a frog buffering on his lily pad is a little too accurate, and one from the Halloween shelf, because a rooster with fangs is the friend who is always first to the party and you know exactly who that is. Both shelves are Everyday Supersoft tees, because the residents refuse anything scratchy, and so should you.
Find your tendency on the Natural Tendencies shelf, then meet the residents after dark on the Halloween shelf. Costume Patrol will be checking.
Written by Pete the Parrot. Thanks for reading.
