Some people arrive at AmazooMania knowing exactly which animal they are. Sloth. Done. Out by lunch. And then there is you: the one who reads the whole menu, the one who does every enclosure including the one with the sign that says 'back in five minutes,' the one who says 'let me just see everything first' and means the word everything.
All is the collection for that person. It is the entire park with every gate open and nothing sorted for you. In one walk you pass a baby elephant riding a skateboard off a wave (Trunk Trickster), a tiger surfing with his mouth open (Fierce Waves), a sloth who has been in the same spot since the ribbon-cutting (Hippie Sloth), a parrot in a beach chair under a palm who has not left it (Cool Pete), a bison who brought a bagpipe nobody asked for (Bison Bagpipe Blast), a hedgehog with a flute (Hedgehog Flute Fantasy), an elephant in shades in the ferns who declined every category (Hipster Jumbo), and, near the exit, the Amazoomania Brand Shirt, which is what the staff wear and which the staff would like you to know is also available.
Here is why the long way is the right way: the design that is SO you is rarely the first one you see. It is the one at the ninth enclosure that gets a real grin out of you in a place where nobody else is grinning, and you cannot find that by shortcut. The whole park, one gate, nothing pre-sorted... go the long way.
Every tee is printed after you order it, so take your time ~ the zookeeper has stopped offering shortcuts and is now just walking with you.
Written by Micha. Thanks for reading.
