Consider the raccoon for a moment. Nocturnal. Masked. Runs in small organised gangs. Will fight anything over something worthless.
That is not an animal. That is a hockey player.
The Mask Was The Giveaway
A raccoon arrives pre-loaded with a bandit mask and a total disregard for property boundaries. Hand it a stick and skates and it needs no introduction to the culture of the sport (the culture came factory-installed).
Which is why Raccoon Bandit Hockey and Raccoon Handball both live on this store ~ the raccoon was never going to choose a gentle sport.
The Rink Roster
The raccoon has company on the ice, and the casting is impeccable.
- Monkey Hockey Puck: chaos on skates, and nobody has ever shown him the rulebook.
- Hockey Mouse: tiny, impossible to check, gone before you finish turning around.
Between the three of them you have a full line, and not one of them would pass to you. The goal horn is the only instrument they respect.
Why Hockey Suits Cartoon Animals So Well
Hockey is the most cheerfully violent sport that still lines up for handshakes afterwards. It is fast, it is loud, and it keeps a perfectly straight face right up until somebody falls over.
Draw that with a raccoon in it and you have captured the sport more honestly than any solemn photograph ever managed.
Rink Cold Is A Different Cold
Anyone who has sat through a youth game at six in the morning knows rink cold personally. It moves into your bones and stays until March.
Wear a tee that makes the other parents laugh ~ it is the only heating that building has ever offered.
Written by AMAZOOMANIA. Thanks for reading.
