Consider the raccoon for a moment. Nocturnal. Masked. Operates in small organised gangs. Will fight anything over something worthless.
That is not an animal. That is a hockey player.
The Mask Was The Giveaway
A raccoon comes pre-loaded with a bandit mask and a total disregard for property boundaries. Give it a stick and skates and it does not need a single lesson in the culture of the sport.
Which is why Raccoon Bandit Hockey and Raccoon Handball both live on this store. The raccoon was never going to pick a gentle sport.
The Rink Roster
The raccoon has company on the ice, and the casting is impeccable.
- Monkey Hockey Puck ~ chaos on skates, has clearly never read the rulebook.
- Hockey Mouse ~ tiny, impossible to check, gone before you turn around.
Between the three of them you have an entire line, and not one of them would pass to you.
Why Hockey Suits Cartoon Animals So Well
Hockey is the most cheerfully violent sport that still shakes hands afterwards. It is fast, it is loud, and it takes itself extremely seriously right up until somebody falls over.
Draw that with a raccoon in it and you have captured the sport more honestly than any serious photograph ever managed.
Rink Cold Is A Different Cold
Anyone who has sat through a youth game at six in the morning knows the particular misery of rink cold. It gets into your bones and stays there until March.
Wear something that makes the other parents laugh. It is the only warmth available in that building.
Written by AMAZOOMANIA. Thanks for reading.